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Why is it so hard to work well with some people? People Styles at Work...and Beyond presents a comprehensive, practical, and proven method readers can use to:
- recognize how they come across to other coworkers - read others' body language and behavior to identify the best ways to work with them - make small adjustments that will dramatically increase the quality and productivity of their interactions - find common ground with different people while retaining their individuality - relate less defensively and more effectively--no matter how others act The book reveals the strengths and weaknesses of four different people styles, providing practical techniques that work both on the job and off. Now including all new material on personal relationships, parenting, and more, this is the ultimate guide anyone can use to enhance even the most difficult relationships.- Sales Rank: #52518 in Books
- Brand: Brand: AMACOM
- Published on: 2009-05-28
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.25" h x 6.25" w x .75" l, .85 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 240 pages
- ISBN13: 9780814413425
- Notes: 100% Satisfaction Guarantee. Tracking provided on most orders. Buy with Confidence! Millions of books sold!
From the Back Cover
At work, and in other spheres of life, how well you relate with others affects your ability to get things done. What you may not realize is that all people exhibit one of several different behavioral “styles,” which determine how they think, make decisions, communicate, manage time and stress, and deal with conflict. By understanding which “people style” you’re dealing with, you can establish rapport with someone more easily, become more persuasive, and avoid miscommunication and the possibility of rubbing someone the wrong way.
People Styles at Work . . . And Beyond reveals the strengths and weaknesses of each style, includes a self-assessment for determining which style you are, and presents a proven approach you can use to: identify the best ways to work with others based on their body language and behavior • recognize how you come across to coworkers • make small adjustments that will dramatically increase the quality and productivity of your interactions • find common ground with different people • relate less defensively and more effectively—no matter how others act.
Now including all new material on personal relationships, parenting, and more, this is the ultimate guide that has helped hundreds of thousands of people make even their most difficult relationships much more productive and pleasant.
Advance Praise for People Styles at Work . . . And Beyond:
“People Styles at Work…And Beyond unlocks the secrets to understanding yourself and others—the key to successful leadership!” — Marshall Goldsmith, New York Times and Wall Street Journal #1 best-selling author of What Got You Here Won’t Get You There
“Practical tips for improving relationships with anyone from your identical twin to your total opposite. The authors make proven theories about human interactions accessible for anyone to use.” — John Zenger, coauthor of the best-selling The Extraordinary Leader and cofounder of Zenger | Folkman
“The first edition of this book was a brilliant and original contribution to our understanding of human behavior. . . . [This] new edition further deepens our understanding of the fundamentals of human relationships. Before your next important meeting with someone whose style is different from your own—and that would be most everyone—I strongly recommend you read, and put to use, this book.”
— Jim Kouzes, coauthor of the best-selling The Leadership Challenge
Robert Bolton and Dorothy Grover Bolton are cofounders of Ridge Associates, which specializes in people skills training, leadership development, interpersonal communication, and performance management. Their training and coaching clients include many Fortune 500 companies and executives. They are also the authors of Social Style, Management Style. They live in both Cazenovia, New York, and Amelia Island, Florida.
About the Author
Robert Bolton and Dorothy Grover Bolton are co-founders of Ridge Associates, which specializes in people skills training, leadership development, interpersonal communication, and performance management. Their training and coaching clients include many Fortune 500 companies and executives. They are the authors of Social Style, Management Style.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
INTRODUCTION
BOTH AT WORK and at home, success and happiness depend on relating
to others across a chasm of significant differences. If you could figure out
how to bridge the gap between yourself and others, you could make your
life—and theirs—much easier, happier, and more productive. How to do
that is what this book is about.
The differences between people are a major source of friction. For example,
our friend Michelle does everything in a rush. She walks fast,
talks fast, decides fast. And she completes projects in a flurry. As luck
would have it, she’s often teamed with John, who is very deliberate.
John walks slowly, talks slowly, decides slowly. Although these differences
may not seem like a big deal, if they’re not managed well they’re
likely to erode Michelle’s and John’s working relationship. You’ve undoubtedly
seen how differences like these can undermine cooperation,
hamper performance, and add considerable stress to people’s lives.
This book shows how you can manage those kinds of differences in
ways that enhance your relationships, increase your productivity, and add
richness and spice to your life. It’s about making people differences work
for, rather than against, you.
There are three parts to the book:
• Part One: Understanding Yourself and Others
• Part Two: Style Flex: A Key to Improved Relationships
• Part Three: People Styles and Family Relationships
Part One: Understanding Yourself and Others provides a pragmatic
way of understanding the differences between people. Rather than delve
into esoteric psychological theory, it provides a straightforward, practical
explanation of what you need to know to relate more effectively to others.
Chapter 1 notes some of the differences between the four people styles
and how those differences can lead to people problems. Chapter 2 describes
the people styles model and explains how it can help you relate
more effectively to people very different from yourself. Chapter 3 helps
you capture data for identifying your own style. The two dimensions of
behavior that are key to understanding yourself and others are highlighted
in Chapter 4. With this background, Chapter 5 guides you
through an assessment that shows how you come across to other people.
The four people styles are described in Chapters 6 and 7. Chapter 8 depicts
each style’s tendency toward certain strengths and weaknesses.
Chapter 9 describes backup styles—the four dysfunctional and relationship-
straining ways in which people of each style react to excessive stress.
In Chapter 10, you’ll learn how to cope productively both with your own
and with other people’s stressed-out behavior.
Part Two: Style Flex: A Key to Improved Relationships shows how to
create more productive interactions by applying the knowledge of yourself
and others gained in Part One. Chapter 11 introduces you to style
flex, a way of creating common ground with people very different from
yourself. Style flex is the intriguing ability to be true to yourself while
relating to someone else on that person’s wavelength. The four steps involved
in flexing to another person’s style are presented in Chapter 12. In
Chapter 13, you learn how to identify another person’s style. Chapter 14
describes how to use style flex in several special situations. The final chapter
of Part Two describes basic flex—three personal qualities that undergird
style flex.
Parts One and Two are equally applicable to personal and work relationships.
However, the people styles model has some unique and beneficial
applications to personal relationships. So Part Three: People Styles
and Family Relationships discusses applications of the people styles model
to two of these types of personal relationships. Chapter 16, ‘‘The Art of
Loving Someone Very Different from Yourself,’’ shows how to forge an
even better relationship with your domestic partner. In Chapter 17, you’ll
find style-based parenting guidelines that will help you have more enjoyable
relationships with your kids while helping them increase their selfesteem
and develop their unique strengths.
There are four appendices—one for each of the four styles. The appendix
for your style presents specific guidelines on how to flex to persons
of each of the four styles.
Many of the concepts in this book will come not as news but as
reminders. We’re often told that this way of organizing interpersonal data
helps people sharpen insights they’ve already gained from their life experience.
This familiarity makes it easier for readers to implement the relationship-
enhancing methods found in these pages.
We hope the concepts and methods presented in this book will enrich
your life and relationships as much as they’ve enhanced ours.
Most helpful customer reviews
14 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
Vital Information for anyone
By Sales rep 21
I read the first edition, this book has information in it that I have not seen in other personality style books. I knew much of the typing of styles but now knowing the Back-up response styles and secondary Back-up styles is vital to dealing with difficult and all people. Now I know how and why they react to my personality type and why they may not be comfortable with what I am saying to them, by noticing their actions and response back-up style.
In sales you often wonder Why people reject you or your product but now I have a clear understanding of how to gain committments from those difficult personalties I used to struggle with because I didn't know they didn't deal well with a certain style I was using.
I also manage an office and I might just send everyone home one day and make them read this book, so they would never again say, "Why does he or she respond that way, when I share my ideas?" Once you begin to understand why people do what they do, you can move so much farther in building stronger relationships. You are no longer surprised by their response or actions and you can change your language and actions to fit their style, knowing how they respond to what is best for them. I had my associates all read this and they finally found out why they were struggling to work with certain people and now they have typed everyone and they have learned how to respect others style.
In sales, you don't worry about clients that don't budge who are amiable or analytical because now you can learn what they want and how they like to be sold. you provide it at the outset vs. many lost sales because they didn't see it my way, however, my way is always the same way. I have finally learned why they act the way they do in response to my sales approach and so now I tailor everything to avoid those issues.
I go back to this book for ideas more than any book I have ever needed for work. It's invaluable.
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
Learning to get along
By Bertie
this book is a handy way to learn what it takes to get along, not only at work but at home. once you understand the styles, and the authors make that plenty easy, it becomes quite a snap to prepare and practise effective communication.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Dependent on on ability to profile people
By Yugen Naidoo
The use of the book is highly dependent on the ability to profile people.Often the physical behaviour of the person you need to profile is not easily visible and some times contradictory, in the sense that a person may show behaviour which would be both equally assertive and not assertive.
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